Jakey says...... How to avoid being bathed

Hi, or should i say woof!

I'm Jakey, Oui fashionistas puppy, well technically I'm not a puppy as I'm 6. My mommy loves me ever so much even though i smell! Well i cannot help that, as when we go for walk, there is a huge smelly puddle ( more like lake) which i cannot resist to paddle in. My mom often threatens to give me a bath which i whimper at the thought, i mean its not my fault the puddle is so tempting with its wafts of manure.

Now whats all this about dressing up dogs, i mean come on that's just plain ridiculous, we should show off our fur not hide it in silly dresses. I do really feel for that poor Tinkerbell, her mommy looks a real dummy. If i was Tinkerbell I'd poop in her shoes, well at least i got rid of my nasty habit of pooping inside when i was 1.

Here are some doggy tips to avoid getting bathed...

If acting cute fails...

1. Run, as fast you can, mommy has wised up to this tactic and shuts the bathroom door so i cant escape.

2. If that fails, dance around the bathroom, so mommy has to chase me.

3. Dang, she usually catches me, by now the bath is run so mommy plonks me in.

4. In the bath, i wiggle so i miss the shower head.

5. Try and escape, i try and jump out the bath or shake on mommy so i distract her and then jump out.

6. Give up, now a dog like me doesn't usually give up without a fight but after using all my tactics i give up.

7. Enjoy, the doggy massage whilst she is lathering the shampoo.

8. Finish, after mommy gets me out the bath i shake everywhere to annoy her.

9. Dry, on my bed and relax until dinner time.

Jake xx poops and kisses